Bye Bye Boobies!

Let me be perfectly clear...

2009-02-12T08:13:00.000-08:00

There really were boogers on the ceiling. We took a vote. The only person who didn't think they were, was the nurse in charge of housekeeping. The other people all agreed, it was indeed a pick and flick situation.

And then when the guy came to clean them off? He was wearing a hazmat gas mask - you can kinda see it in this photo.

If only we had thought to film the entire hospital stay and broadcast it. I think we woulda made millions.

New Party Game

2009-01-31T07:10:00.000-08:00

Marcy has come up with a new party game where we are going to bounce quarters off my flat tummy. Into what? Maybe a punch bowl? Virgin mojitos, anyone?

And I'm still trying to figure out how to charge people to see my new rack, although, as Mike says, "Wait long enough, she'll show you them for free."

My docs are amazing. I am feeling great, standing up almost straight, and thrilled with my decision.

Yay technology!

Soups and Salads and Suppers. OH MY!

2009-01-24T06:46:00.000-08:00

Yay! I'm actually feeling good enough to possibly start blogging for myself. There is a certain something missing when you can't do anything for yourself.

I am happy to report that my juice boxes, aka drains, aka pumps for my shoes, were taken out this past Wednesdays visit to Dr. B in SF. I'm healing nicely (yes, it still hurts!), but still can lift no more than 10 pounds, can't raise my arms above my head and I can't do any housework (poor me).

The outpouring of love and support from each and every one of you has been amazing. I've decided why you are all so excited about feeding me - you are trying to fatten me up (jealous of my really flat tummy). Seriously though, the cards, the comments, the visits, all help me heal and feel better every day. And the food? Spectacular! Soups, and salads and suppers, OH MY! It has been more than helpful as I try to ease back into the groove.

A great big hug to all of you. And don't worry, I think I can get back into the blogging groove pretty quickly!

Mmmm mmmmm good

2009-01-18T17:31:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! As you all know, Hayley is back home, safe, sound and cancer free. Can I get a "hallelujah!", people!!! For those of you who haven't had a chance to come and check out the new girls, you definitely want to put that on your list of things to do. It's truly amazing what modern medicine can do these days. She's a little tired, and since she's only taking Tylenol now she's in some pain, but still smiling. If it was me I think I'd stay fully medicated and living through chemistry for at least the next few weeks.....nausea or not. I've been visiting since Friday and fortunately for me this was when the 2-a-days started. That's two meals a day, delivered. Most of you probably already know this but Hayley's friends signed up to bring her and Timmy lunch and dinner every day for the next two weeks. Not only was this an incredibly generous thing to do just on principal, but we're not talking Happy Meals from Mickey D's. And (again, fortunately for me) they have been bringing enough food to feed a small army. I don't think I'm ever going home. Or at least not til either 1) the two weeks is up or 2) I weigh 425 lbs.! Hayley is so lucky to have such great friends. On behalf of the Townleys, let me be the first to say....thanks for all the great grub! And if you stop by for a visit, chances are pretty good that they'll feed you too.

I'm baaaaaack!

2009-01-17T11:44:00.000-08:00

Greetings fiend, friends, freaks of nature, and all my other buddies,

I am home and happy to report a fabulously flat stomach, terrific cleavage, and an appetite to keep my tummy flat!

Time marches on - hard to believe that I haven't blogged for almost two weeks, but I see that Tim, Julie & Marcy kept you all up on my progress. And I want to thank all of you for all your comments, love, gifts, support, etc.

I will try to be witty later. First, it's time for more Tylenol! I just wanted to check in and say

WOOHOO!

No signs of cancer, everything seems to be in the right places, and I love you all!

Home at last!

2009-01-12T20:42:00.000-08:00

Its true, we are home. It's hard to believe that just a couple of days ago, I thought Hayley was going to have to go under the knife again, and now she is sleeping in her own bed!

When I got to the Hospital this morning, I found my girl sitting at the window, eating her breakfast. Then the nurses aid took her for a walk around the floor. Her doctor came in and gave her the good news--we could go home today!

Oh yeah, on the way home, the surgeon called and let Hayley know that there was no sign of cancer in her old breast tissue! WHEW! We cried as we drove down the road--Breast Cancer will not take this girl from us.

It only been 7 days, but oh what a journey it has been. Thank all of you for your support, and your love. I'm sure the next entry will by Hayley, so thanks again for being our support team.

Tim

Finger lickin' good

2009-01-11T22:01:00.000-08:00

Look who came to visit Hayley in the hospital!!

But, since she was sleeping, he found a new babe to hang out with:

Boogers on the ceiling and screaming naked guy

2009-01-11T21:44:00.000-08:00

Who knew going to the hospital could be such fun???? Hayley was moved to a new room which is evidently right down the hall from the psych ward. Shortly after I arrived this afternoon we started hearing a ruckus a few rooms down. Either some guy needed to poop out a football, or he was in pain....or both (we're not entirely sure if there was one guy or two...this was before we started really paying attention). Anyways this guy was hollering and screaming for 911 (just like Jeff Conaway on "Celebrity Rehab"), for his doctor, for his lawyer, for the police, maybe for a toilet (again, not sure if this was the same guy). He was in pain and letting everyone know it. I really wanted to go down there and bitch slap him, letting him know that my best friend had just been not only gutted like a mackeral but taken in for not one but two surgeries on the same damn day and he should just SHUT the hell UP....but I didn't. Apparently I didn't have to as he was visited by the po-po shortly thereafter (not to be confused with poo-poo) and that calmed him right down. At least for a little while. I'm sorry to say we missed the best part of the show. While Hayley was getting checked out by her nurse, we had the door closed so as to protect what little privacy she has. All of a sudden we heard the guy yelling in the hallway "I'm in paaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn" and the slap slap slap of running feet. We asked the nurse if it was the same guy. She apologized and said yes, and that it wasn't something we really wanted to see because he was nekkid as a jaybird. Hayley and I agreed that it was, in fact, something we wanted to see, so we made sure to keep that door wide open for the duration. Unfortunately he settled down again and they kept him in his room with the door closed so I couldn't even check it out. Oh well, maybe he'll be there tomorrow.

Here is a picture of Hayley's ceiling (above her bed). We are convinced that this is a booger that was flicked on the ceiling by a previous occupant (remember, psych ward). What do YOU think?

The Green Wire

2009-01-11T00:16:00.000-08:00

What a day! It all started so nicely--TJ and Laura brought Hayley a donut for breakfast, which she proclaimed to all was the best buttermilk bar ever! She looks way better (no matter what Mister Negative might say). Then Dan, Marcy, Connor and Gerrard dropped in for a nice visit, followed by Mike and Shirley. Patricia then stopped off and delivered that nice rack you see in the previous picture, along with a nice x-rated tic tac toe game. Then it was Cathryn with a wonderful M&M dispenser and a cool pair of shades for Hayley.

Around 7:00 cousin Jackie dropped by and the 5 of us were having a great time chatting and telling old story's. At about 7:30 we had decided to go grab some dinner, when one of the doctors came in and said he wanted a minute with Hayley. The nurse chased us out of the room, and a few minutes later the Dr. (not Buntic, but one of the younger Doctors) came up to me and let me know that they were no longer getting any feedback from Hayley's right breast. He continued to explain that if the breast may not proper blood flow. So they were going to do a couple of other tests first, but it looked like she would have to go back into surgery!

F---Me! That would mean getting her ready to go back under, and a couple more hours on the table under the knife, then start the recovery all over again (ICU and the whole nine yards!) At least 4 more days here! Then he said, "Not to worry you, BUT it is never a good thing when after 4 days we have a problem". No shit Sherlock! Now those little voices that were all rested up since Tuesday night started back chiming in. This time i had TJ, Laura, and Jackie all to share my fear with.

Enter the coolest cat in the room, Jackie, who led the troops in a stirring battle of HangMan, as we all tried to keep our mind off of the impending surgery. After saying the Serenity Prayer about 10 times to myself, I pulled TJ aside and told him, there must be some kind of mistake--maybe the wire was disconnected or something.

At about 9 the more senior doctor on duty tonight (Dr. Buntic was called, and would be in to do the cutting) came in to take a look for himself, before the surgery. They had just finished a 8 hour surgery, some poor guy had got his hand stuck in a cement mixer (and it had been cut off) and they had re-attached it. He took one look at Hayley's new Juggs, and said "they look awfully good to not have circulation". A collective sigh from the 5 of us. Then he asked the nurse if she had checked the wire? "No, never though of it" she said. He switched leads, and low and behold her right breast was actually getting plenty of blood flow--there had been a faulty GREEN WIRE!

So after an hour and a half of terror, all was back to peacefulness! Jackie broke into the M&M's and we sucked down the victory candy that melts in your mouth not in your hand! Finally Hayley chased us out--she was ready to go to sleep. The younger Dr. came back before we left and apologized, he was sorry to have put us through the ringer like that, he just wanted to be on the safe side. We all told him we understood, and thanked him for looking out for our girl.

Jackie led us to some great Thai food, and then took TJ & Laura out for some liquid relaxation. I came here to update you all, and to let you all know that all is well, hopefully Hayley and I will be coming home Monday or Tuesday, and as of right now, there will be no more surgery!

Next time, check the GREEN WIRE FIRST!

Funny Stuff

2009-01-11T00:15:00.000-08:00

Today brought lots of visitors to Hayley, here is a picture of some of the loot!

TJ and Laura have had just too much fun,
tt

Dr. Buntic

2009-01-11T00:13:00.000-08:00

This was from the Tuesday, the day of the surgery. Hayley knew that they would be using sharpies to mark the spot where she was to be sliced, so she brought a full package of sharpies for Dr. B.

Saturday Morning

2009-01-10T11:58:00.000-08:00

WARNING...images in this blog entry may be unsuitable for our young viewers (or those with weak stomachs)

Well, since I've been so lame and not posted anything as a guest blogger yet I figured I better have something good. We're here, reporting live from the hospital with Hayley on this beautiful Saturday morning.

Seeing that I'm a giver I've decided to expand all of you all's medical knowledge today...So put on your thinking caps, look at the picture and tell us what Haley is holding in her hand. I'll give you a hint and tell you it's not a juice box.

It's a POCKET BUDDY which is a drain to remove unwanted fluids and other undesirable substances from Hayley's parts and Hayley has four of them! Yea! Feel your lunch coming up yet?

Hayley looks fabulous today and is definitely her old perky and sometime inappropriate self.

Friday update

2009-01-09T13:27:00.001-08:00

Great news! Hayley has been moved out of the Critical Care Unit and into a regular room on the same floor. She no longer needs the oxygen or the morphine drip (oh damn) and was able to eat some oatmeal this morning. Unfortunately that became an oatmeal fountain but hopefully it was a short turnaround and tasted just as good the second time! She is doing just great and getting better every minute. No doubt due to all of the good wishes coming her way! Keep 'em comin'....

Thursday Night

2009-01-08T21:14:00.000-08:00

An early one tonight, as Hayley was a good sleeper today! All those visits yesterday made her quite sleep. Somewhere someone told me that your body really repairs itself during quality REM sleep--or maybe i just made it up. At any rate, that was what she was doing today, and it seemed to make a difference. She is still in ICU, but i would bet she will be out tomorrow, the doc thinks she will be out of bed by Sunday.

Gets me tired just thinking about it! You all know Hayley, and seeing someone who has that much energy stuck in bed is a strange site. It is wonderful to see her improving. Hospitals can be wonderful places. The Milkshake guy came around today, and delivered Hayley a really great milkshake (i did help her out with it and it was yummy).

But for some folks the Hospital is not so kind. In the room next to Hayley is a woman who came out of surgery (unknown) and her entire extended family is in the waiting room outside the ICU. They take up every seat and spill into the hall. From the looks of the family things may not be doing so well--I cant really tell what they are talking about as their conversation is in Spanish. I hope for the best, but I see the fear in the family's faces, and understand. It is the fear of the unknown. Two days ago I guess I looked like that too. My what a difference 48 hours can make!

Well its off to bed, while your thinking about Hayley, say a little prayer for the woman in the next room. I hope her family and friends have a strong network like we do.

Thursday afternoon update

2009-01-08T15:19:00.000-08:00

Hi all,
Hayley is still doing great! The doctor was in to check her tummy and everything is healing as expected. She was able to eat a little bit of lunch and has been sleeping most of the day. She should be moved out of the CCU as soon as a bed opens up, probably later today or tomorrow. They plan to have her up and moving around by Sunday, right on schedule. Her brother TJ and his wife Laura are driving out from Utah as we speak, not sure of their exact ETA. I myself have caught a little cold (evidently there are SICK people in hospitals) so I kept my germy self home today...Hayley would kick my ass if I got her sick!! I'm hoping to be back out there tomorrow and will print out all of the blog posts with everyone's comments for her so she can see how much she is loved. So keep sending the love!

Right after surgery

2009-01-08T09:44:00.000-08:00

Does she look perky or what????

Julie's Wednesday update

2009-01-08T08:40:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! I was thinking that Hayley would be completely out of it yesterday so imagine my surprise when I overheard her chatting up a storm in the background with Margerie and Shannon visiting from SLO while talking to Timmy! To say she has a lot of tubes and gizmos attached to her is like saying "Katrina caused a little flooding" but despite all that, she looks great. Far better than I would be after not only enduring 9 hours of surgery and THEN being called back for an encore 5 hours later to remove the blood clot! Dr. Buntic is an amazing surgeon judging by the newly constructed "girls" and Hayley could not be in more capable hands with the doctors and nurses at Cal Pacific. She's definitely in some pain and having to do normal things like "give me a little cough" for the nurses must be a real treat (helloooooooooooooo morphine drip!) but she's not laying there saying "woe is me". Not by a long stretch. Our girl is a trooper!! Hopefully she'll 1) be allowed to eat (and shame on Timmy if he breathed Philly cheesesteak breath on her last night when he got back from dinner) and 2) graduate from the ICU to a regular room today. I'll check in with Timmy in a bit for the morning report and post before I head to SF for everyone's reading pleasure.

24 hours

2009-01-07T22:27:00.000-08:00

What a difference 24 hours makes! It's 10:30 Wednesday night and all is well. One rotation of the earth ago, all kinds of doubt rampaged thru my brain--tonight, tranquility. Emotional roller coasters are no where near as fun to ride as the real things, but they churn ones stomach to be sure (or maybe that is the cheese steak Julie and I had for dinner).

Dr. Buntic came in this morning during his rounds and liked what he saw--last nights surgery had fixed the problem. Her blood pressure was a little low, and heart rate high, so he ordered up a little blood for my girl, and that did the trick. He came back later in the day, looked at her, and her vitals, and said "looks good" and was off to take care of someone who needed help. Clearly he saw that everything was well under control.

I left the Hospital tonight around 9, Hayley was heading off to slumberland--blood pressure and pulse great, and the healing continuing nicely. It was great today, Madelyn and Greg took the early shift so I could get a few winks, and do a little work, then they got in the big bird back to 28 degrees and snow in Cleveland. Once again thanks to these two who jostled their schedule so they could hold my hand yesterday (was that really only yesterday?)

Hayley had a nice visit from her BBB (Buntic Boobie Buddies) today, as well as Marcy and Julie. Her Brother is making his way out from Utah, and her Aunt will be here Monday.

Either tomorrow or Friday Hayley will be moved from ICU to a normal room, and home most likely Monday or Tuesday. Thanks to all for checking this instead of calling or texting--my phone's battery thanks you.

We will update this tomorrow (Julie, call me before you leave so you can post).
Thanks for all the love and prayers,

tt

All is well

2009-01-07T12:35:00.000-08:00

Just got a message from Timmy and he asked me to tell everyone that everything is wonderful, Hayley is doing great and resting comfortably, and getting better all the time. Also Madelyn was just in to see her and sent word that the new girls look great!

Of course it is!

2009-01-07T02:46:00.000-08:00

And of course everything is OK. The good doctor found a clot in one of her arteries on the right breast. Seems the new tissue was pinching the artery thus limiting the blood flow. Just for the record that is a bad thing. They opened her up, and straightened out everything, and now she is resting comfortably. I’m glad I went down there—even though it had absolutely no effect on the outcome.

I must say it is something to see those nurses at work. I rode the elevator with 2 nurses, Hayley, and the anesthesiologist from the surgery floor back up to ICU. Hayley looked like she had just gotten out of surgery (oh yeah she had!) Seeing someone you love and care for deeply fresh out of surgery is kinda scary. The last time I saw her after she was thru recovery, cleaned up and not under the effects of the knock out drugs. This time I got to see her wake up. She looked like Spicolli after taking a hit off a big bong load. But to me, she was the most beautiful thing in the world.

When we got to her room the whirling dervishes began their dance around her. 4 nurses, the anesthesiologist, and the doctor who recognized that there might be something wrong converged on her. With in 15 minutes she was all settled in, and dosing off to dream and heal. After about another 30 minutes, I decided to hit the bricks, and leave her in the capable hands of the nurses. Having been son a doctor and a nurse, and the brother of a radiology tech, I’ve been around a butt load of hospitals, and this one has bar none, the most talented staff I have ever seen. It is great to know that she is in such capable hands.

Now it’s 2:50 and I think I’ll go pass out in bed!

Wake up!

2009-01-07T02:42:00.000-08:00

So here I am, its 11:30 PM and I’m back at the Hospital. I had just fallen asleep after a long day, and the phone rang in my hotel room. It was the hospital and they had Hayley on the line. She said that they were taking her back in to check the blood supply on one of her new breasts. Dr. Buntic then got on the phone and said that all would be fine he just wanted to take her back into surgery and make sure everything was good, and he would call me back as soon a he finished.

I laid there for about a minute wondering what the heck was that—did he really call or was I dreaming? Had the voices in my head gotten the better of me? I’ll just go back to sleep, and it will be all over soon. No, I figured it really happened, so I got dressed and hopped into the truck and back down to the California Pacific Medical Clinic I went.

Dr B. just came in and gave me an update. They had not started yet, but they were about to. He did not like the look (and sound) of the blood flow of the tissue to the new “breast”, and wanted to put Hayley under to take a closer look. Should take about an hour.

Strike up the band! There goes the chorus between my ears again! Playing the old “what if?” game. What if it does not take? What if something goes wrong? What if Eleanor Roosevelt could fly? Come on now Tim, lets get back to basics. Did I cause it? No. Can I control it? No. Can I fix it? No. I guess that means that I should not worry about it then? Like the dude in Pulp Fiction said after taking a bite of the big kahuna burger and washing it down with a tasty beverage—“Correct-a-mundo”.

I thank God for the simple prayer I learned about 6 years ago—“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t control, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Such a simple little saying, but ever so powerful.

So here I sit, hanging out in the Surgery Waiting Room, waiting more peacefully than I could ever imagine I would be, while the good Doctors do what they do. Knowing that I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the outcome, and being OK with that fact!

Waiting

2009-01-07T02:36:00.000-08:00

Tuesday 1/6/2009 morning till about 4

The thing about waiting for someone in surgery is you just don’t know. I don’t know how many times I have told someone “don’t worry about the things you cant control”. Easier said then done. I think back to the very first surgery Hayley had when this all started 6 years ago. That time the surgeon came and found me and gave me the bad news that Hayley’s lump had been cancerous, and they had to take lymph nodes and 7 out of 12 were bad. I remember feeling like someone had just punched me in the gut—my Hayley had CANCER. I had an hour or so to stew in that, then she came out of recovery and I had to deliver the news to her that she had cancer. Not exactly the highlight of my life.

So here we are again. Waiting for the Doctors. The chorus in my mind telling me to worry some more, while I do my best to fend them off. Thank God for my dear sister Madelyn, and her hubby Greg. They flew out to be with me and help keep me from thinking about all crap! Thank you is not enough—without them I would be left with those pesky voices in my head.

Uh Oh, here comes the Doc….

First update, all is going well. Bad Boobies gone, new one under way. The Surgeon did not see anything unusual when she removed the breast tissue! This was the part that 6 years ago I was dying to hear! They will still do pathology, but there was nothing out of the ordinary!

Awesome, now it is time to tell those voices, “I told you so!” As my Brother-in-law Greg said “So many time the best news we ever hear is no news at all.” That is for sure.

A couple of more hours go by, and here comes the Doc again. He says all is well, they are just finishing up, should be only about another ½ hour, then another hour in recovery, then up to ICU. Time passes so much easier, now that those voices are quieted down. Now I’m just waiting to see her, and this time I get to tell her that everything should be OK! I can not tell you how much of a relief that is—here they come, got to go, time to see my love!

8:20 PM - NITE NITE!

2009-01-06T20:20:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody!
Well, it's still good news on the Townley front. Hayley is now happily settled into ICU and sleeping off the anesthesia. I asked if she woke up and Timmy said she was hungry but they won't let her eat. I think that's a good sign. Apparently he was able to see the new girls and they look great...I did not know this but apparently the incision is only a couple inches wide, then they use this opening to stuff the fat (courtesy of Ben and Jerry's) inside. Good thing she ate all that ice cream this week!! I assume they (the girls, not Ben and Jerry) are even and perky. SO I guess this means that she was NOT exactly filleted like a fish. Who knew??? But......Hooray! She will be resting comfortably thanks to the wonders of modern medicine tonight, and Timmy has gone back to the hotel for some much needed rest. Clearly everyone's prayers and positive energy have worked their magic, so good job everyone!! Keep up the good work and check back in tomorrow for another update.

6:40 pm update

2009-01-06T18:41:00.000-08:00

Timmy sent a quick text message and Hayley is doing just fine. She's out of recovery and they are getting her settled in ICU. He said he'd be tied up there for a while so those are all the details I have right now. More news at 11.

Hayley at 6am

2009-01-06T15:13:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of Madelyn!!!

One more thing

2009-01-06T14:03:00.000-08:00

In case anyone had any concerns about Hayley's attitude going into this surgery, never fear. She faced it head on with the same humor and irreverence that is her trademark. I was fortunate to be able to meet her and some other friends for dinner in the city last night (for the "best Chinese food EVER") and you wouldn't have even known that she had anything planned for today. It wasn't until we were saying goodbye, and I gave the girls one last squeeze, that she even mentioned it (other than a filet-o-fish comment here and there.....but that's funny, I don't care who you are). I can't even imagine how she must have been feeling last night and this morning, but you know she faced it with a smile, a joke and that big belly laugh of hers. The doctors probably couldn't wait to put her under so she would shut the hell up! I'm kidding (ok, only kind of) but I just want to say, for all the world to see, how proud I am of her, for everything she does and is. LUMI Edna Medna Big Fat Pedna!!!

Progress report

2009-01-06T13:57:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,

I know everyone is anxiously awaiting any news about Hayley and the progress of her surgery. I was just talking with Timmy and got interrupted because a nurse came to talk to him (so you know this is hot off the press). The mastectomy and tummy tuck plus reconstruction of one boobie are now complete. They are just starting to work on boobie #2 so best guess is she will not be out of surgery until 5pm at the earliest. After that she will be in recovery for another hour or so. Everything is going really well, and Timmy has Madelyn and Gregg to keep him company while he waits. More good news is that when the surgeon completed the mastectomy, she did not have to go into the lymph nodes. We think this means that the tumor did not look suspicious therefore no need to go any further.

Keep sending that positive energy her way!

More news in a couple of hours.

AAAAACCCCKKKKKK.

2009-01-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

AAAAACCCCKKKKKK!

That's all. I feel better now.

Leaving tomorrow. Trying to decided what to pack - how many pairs of shoes do you think I'll need? HA!

And now, just so you can feel as crazed as I am, this was a house we showed the other day. Go ahead, say it with me:

AAAAACCCCKKKKKK!

I'm going to miss my...

2009-01-03T10:37:00.000-08:00

...belly ring.

I know that sounds funny, but it symbolized so much for me. I got it when I was 30 and sold my first house. It was my gift to myself.

Because they are removing skin and fat, they end up making me a new belly button (how freaky is that!) I hope they get it centered correctly.

I know I can get another one. I might. I might not.

But I am going to miss my belly ring.

And P.S. Who the hell is playing William Shatner?

Movie Rights and Movies Seen

2009-01-01T20:00:00.000-08:00

We are getting close to the actual day of the surgery. As far as I know, the date is still Tuesday, January 6th. We will leave for San Francisco Monday morning (after a stop at Frank's, because I am still eating anything I want).

Although, Soledad aka Ms. Scheduler didn't let us down. We called her on Tuesday to ask her if she had heard back from our insurance. She hadn't. She did manage to call back on December 30, Tuesday night at 6 p.m. and said that she is still working on it. Nice. She wanted to know if I had gotten my medical clearance from my primary care doctor. That would be the one SHE FORGOT TO TELL ME I NEEDED!

So, we are scrambling and will hopefully get that tomorrow (Friday).

I have given movie producer rights to Queen Jean Steel who came up with this scene:

It's set in the operating room.

As I am going under, the doctor turns around and says slowly and precisely,

"Hello, Hayley. [pause]. I am your surgeon [longer pause], Soledad."

That's good stuff right there - I don't care who you are!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I would be amiss in saying that the surgery is definitely on my mind. I'm trying to keep myself busy (cleaning my house, working on the website newsletters, de-cluttering, etc.) We decided to go see a movie.

We ended up seeing Seven Pounds.

This is an amazing movie. Will Smith should just take his award and sit down. However, and without spoiling anything, this did not take my mind off it. I'm exhausted.

But you should definitely see it if you haven't. And then we can talk about it. But I think in the meantime perhaps I should go see Marley & Me to truly let my mind wander!

Oh yeah, Happy New Year!

Dog is my Co-Pilot

2008-12-30T16:46:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody!

Edna Medna Big Fat Pedna here, reporting live with team coverage for the Bye Bye Boobies event. Hayley has bravely added me as a contributor to this special blog so between Timmy and I we should be able to provide regular updates to all of Hayley's friends, family and supporters as she proceeds to be fileted like a fish. And, great news, she's also given me permission to post ANY PHOTO I WANT. Can you believe this? If I can stand to take a photo of it, you all can stand to look at it. I'm pretty excited about this. (Except Hayley reminded me that she takes all of the vacation photos and has at least 16?? 18?? years of photos of yours truly that have effectively ended any hopes I may have to run for public office. As if. So I'll have to use at least a little bit of discretion here.) Anyways, I digress. For now, continue to keep our girl in your thoughts and prayers!!

Stay tuned.

Filet o' Fish

2008-12-29T14:17:00.000-08:00

Julie said it.

We all laughed about it.

Sandy did it.

This was in a box on my front porch when I got home today. Inside was a pair of white fuzzy socks, to be worn during the "filet o'fish" surgery (and yes, it is still scheduled for January 6th).

I love my friends.

Hayley's Co-Pilot

2008-12-28T21:37:00.000-08:00

Howdy friends and neighbors,

Just a note to let you know that you can check here for updates on Hayley's condition. I'll be one of her "Guest Bloggers". You will be able to get the latest info (I'll post daily while she is in recovery so you will still be able to get your Blog On even while she is out).

On the serious side, I just want to say here in front of all who care for her--I am so proud of my wife! The way she has taken on all things that have come before her, the way that she lets nothing stop her, the way that she works her fingers off building this support network that literally helps thousands of people!

Some of you have known her for many years, others just a few, and others still only a short time, but you are all now infected with her passion and humor. Lucky us!

So, buckle you chin strap, its time for another ride.

More soon,

Tim (Hayley's Co-Pilot)

The View Changes

2008-12-27T07:23:00.000-08:00

We have lived in this house for 7-1/2 years. I love, love, love my house. If you know me, chances are that you do too. It's got charm, it's got character, it's got great views.

This is the view out my office. I love that it changes all the time. It's the same, only different. I have literally hundreds of pictures of this view. I try to incorporate my palm tree (which just happens to be in my neighbors back yard.) In case you are wondering why it looks like I am overlooking a beach, it's the neighbor's rock roof!

The neighbors are remodeling. The first thing they did? They took down MY palm tree (which just happened to be in their back yard). The tree that was probably 50 years old (same age as the houses was gone in mere moments. With each cut, another piece dropped heavily to the ground and it felt like an earthquake - my windows rattled, the entire hilltop shook. And things changed.

I was presented with another view. I am delighted to report, however, the view is just as good, if not maybe a tiny bit better.

I'm going to wager that there was a reason the tree came down when it did. Another one of those life lessons.

The view represents me. The tree represents my breasts.

Once this mastectomy is complete, the view will still be great, if not maybe even a tiny bit better.

I'm hoping the rock roof represents the soon to be tummy-turned-into-breasts and that the neighbor will be getting a decent roof as I get a flat tummy. Those rock roofs are frickin' ugly.

Hairball Remedies

2008-12-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

HEY! Look what I got in the mail. It appears as if this actually may happen on January 6th. For those of you wondering, the scheduling has been taken over by somebody competent, obviously.

I even got a call from the hospital to pre-register me. The guy who was on the phone was great. He set up a phone meeting with a nurse for this week so she can go over my medical history, prior surgeries and any medications I am taking. He also said I should tell the nurse about any hairball remedies I'm on.

I'm not sure, but I think he meant herbal (!?)

In any case, I plan on stopping the hairball remedies I am currently taking starting tomorrow. This could get messy.

A Taco, A Croissant & A Sandwich

2008-12-19T17:51:00.000-08:00

I have decided to make Ms. Scheduler lunch. I figured because of all the paperwork on her desk, she must be very hungry. I didn't know what she would want, so I made her a taco, a croissant and a sandwich.

I put all the same ingredients in each:

New office scheduler, new date. The hospital actually called me today and pre-registered me.

January 6th it is. Now where did I put that ice cream? (It's for me, not for the old scheduler - she has plenty to eat).

Things they don't tell doctors

2008-12-18T06:15:00.001-08:00

I get it. I really do. The doctor is in charge of the surgery - as it should be.

The person who is in charge of scheduling and who is the contact person for any patient, should be nice, prompt, courteous, have at least a high school diploma (I'd even settle for a GED), know who you are when you have called more than once in the span of 2 days, know how to read a calendar, know the hospitals and the doctors schedule, should call your insurance, should send out a package to let you know what time you should be at the hospital and where, and might even want to provide the name of the hotel where your loved ones can stay at a reduced rate. Might want to throw in that the hospital will also pay for one extra meal at every meal time for a guest. (Are you excited? You too can eat hospital food if you are planning on visiting me).

I honestly don't think I am asking for too much.

You're reading this so you already know how I got here. I met with this surgeon (whom I adore) the beginning of November. At the time, he said the schedule was about 3-4 weeks out. He was going to have "his girl" take care of the scheduling, insurance, etc. I waited one week. I sent her an email. I waited another week, I sent her another email. I called her and left a message. I called her again. She told me she was busy and hadn't had time to call my insurance, or schedule me. For crying out loud, she had paperwork. This honestly was her excuse. At that time, I reminded her, that when they do the mastectomy, that they still have to send the tissue to pathology and that it isn't over til the path lady sings (I know, I know, that's a good one, I was saving it for later, but if I do use it later, pretend you didn't already see it).

She mentioned that maybe we could do it December 8th, asked me to call her back to confirm the next day. I did. She couldn't remember who I was. Kept asking me if I was a patient of Dr. So&So. I reminded her that I live 3-1/2 hours away from the doctor, and that since the surgery is a week in the hospital with a 6 week recovery time, I really needed to get it scheduled, as it affects many people for many days to help me out. She told me she hadn't done anything about it, again, because she had paperwork. Said she would take care of it by lunch and call me. I called again at 3. Guess what? She simply hadn't had time to schedule the 3 surgeons, coordinate operating rooms, etc. After all, she DID have paperwork.

My dear friend Shannon offered to give me her December 2nd surgery slot (bless her nipples), and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Ms. Scheduler said she would put me on the books for December 15th. Please note the day of this post. This obviously did not happen.

I made the phone calls. We called the hotel to make reservations. I told people I was going in on December 15th. Family is coming out to help take care of me and they are making plane reservations.

When I called her to confirm that after that weekend, she said that she hadn't had time to call one of the other surgeons, and BTW, who was it? I gave her the number, told her that I got it from HER doctor, and asked if it was in my file. She opened it up and said yes it was. She needed to call her to see if she was going to be able to do it on December 15th. She asked me if I was a patient of Dr. So&So.

She actually called me back that afternoon. December 15th wouldn't work at all, because the general surgeon wasn't available. And why did this happen? Because she had paperwork. And she (oopsy) forgot to call the general surgeon who is going to perform the mastectomy (that would be the first step in this type of surgery). That particular general surgeon just wasn't available, so she was going to go ahead and move me to December 29th. She was also going to call my insurance and get authorization.

Flashback to the original cancer diagnosis: my abnormal mammogram was in July. By the time everybody got their shit together to do a biopsy and scheduling me and rescheduling me for every two weeks, the biopsy and diagnosis didn't happen until the end of September. Who knows what the little cancer cells were doing for 70 days. Probably having a party.

I confirmed the December 29th with her. I actually got a phone call from Surgeon #1 on the mastectomy and we talked about the surgery, my options, the pathology report, and how I would see her at 7am on Monday, December 29th.

We have made house/dog sitter arrangements.

We have made hotel reservations.

I have put together a BBB party the night before with my bay area friends. (ByeByeBoobies)

Tim's sister is coming out from Cleveland to hang out with Tim while I am in the hospital.

My Aunt Jill has booked a trip from New Mexico to help do housework and hang out with me.

My brother TJ and his wife are going to come out for this too to help me out from Utah.

I have been busy getting ready to do everything that needs to be done for next week. Most of my Xmas stuff is done, but we still need to run the business while we are up in SF for a week. There are eleventy-six million things to be done, but I have all next week to do them.

After a particularly challenging day yesterday, I decided to call Ms. Scheduler because I hadn't heard from her, and since Xmas is next week, I assumed that she was going to be taking most of it off. I still don't know what time to be there on Monday, December 29th, haven't signed my medical power of attorney, etc.

She knew who I was - this was a good sign. She said, "Oh yeah, your file is on my desk here somewhere."

I assumed it was probably buried underneath all her paperwork. Then she pretended to put me on hold and hung up on me.

I called back.

She said, "You're a patient of Dr. So&So's right?"

Um, no. Still. Not a good sign.

She said, "Oh yeah, I should probably call your insurance company. Who was it again?"

Um, yes. Probably a good frickin idea.

She told me she had today (Thursday) off, but for sure would call me on Friday morning. And then pulled her little "If you don't hear from me by XXtime on Friday, give me a call."

I was annoyed, but I am literally at her mercy.

I got a phone call back from her about 30 minutes later, and about 4 minutes before her office closed for the day. I assume you are sitting down since you have read this far. "Oh, the doctor is going to be out of town on December 29th. We MIGHT be able to get you in for January 6th, but I am going to have to work on that."

I got very quiet. My mind was racing. My heart was beating so loud I could hear it. My world stopped and my head started to spin. I yelled at her, reminded her that I had family and friends coming in on non-refundable tickets. She said maybe we could write a letter to the airlines. I told her I couldn't talk to her right now, threw the phone across the room, and collapsed in a heap on the living room and started to cry.

You would be very proud of me. I didn't call her names. I didn't even cuss. I was emotionally prepared for this surgery, and it felt as if somebody had pulled the plug to let me drain.

Tim called her back. She said there was nothing she could do. Blamed it on the doctor. Said he just told her he was going to be gone. Tim asked to talk to the doc. She said she would give him a message (yeah right).

He called the office back and got the answering service. Told them it was an emergency. The doctor called back. He had NO IDEA any of this was going on. Thought everything was peachy keen. He mentioned something about this coming Monday. He apologized profusely. This circumstance is one of those things they don't tell doctors.

He must have read her the riot act. I got a phone call from her cell phone last night at 7:30. She asked if I could come in THIS coming Monday, December 22. Asked if maybe she could get another general surgeon in case the one (that's scheduled for December 29th) can't do it on Monday. I of course told her yes. For crying out loud, get somebody with a melon baller in there to take out the breast tissue, just make sure the guy who is building me new breasts has a good nights sleep.

She said that she would call me to confirm today. Even though it's her day off. And she would also be calling the insurance company. Yes, have a nice day off, Ms. Scheduler. You should probably check the help wanted ads while you are at it.

So, here I am. It's sorta like limbo, only not. I'm shooting for this Monday, December 22. I won't know for sure until sometime today. I'm a mess.

And now the list that didn't seem so daunting because I had 10 days to do it? I now have 3 days. If I missed something, I apologize. If you didn't get a Christmas card, it's probably cuz you pissed me off; or maybe it's just cause that stack on my desk didn't quite make it to the post office (much more likely).

Need to get a house/pet sitter. Need to do January's newsletter (if you don't get it, now you will know why). Need to get new stories ready to post on ThereIsLifeAfterBreastCancer.com. Need to finish the Spirited Woman Blog Contest entry. Need to cancel the hair appointment (made 2 months in advance). Need to finish laundry. Need to eat breakfast. Need to stop writing this blog.

I know, I know. I'm spontaneous. I can travel at the drop of a hat. I expected Joe & Carmen to travel to Europe with me on 10 days notice (which they did). Either I am getting older, or just getting crotchety with age. I should be able to suck this up, right?

Merry Christmas to me. All I want for Christmas is:

two new boobs
no more mammograms
upgraded survival rate
a flat tummy
world peace
to know who Dr. So&So really is
Ms. Scheduler's head on a platter

Office Supplies

2008-12-16T12:24:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't love office supplies? Does the new package of Sharpies shown below do the same thing to you that it does to me? I want to rip it open and start doodling.

Hopefully, my surgeon will appreciate the fact that I have managed to keep the entire package intact, and just for him. Because I am sorta jonesing for the ORANGE Sharpie right now!

I know they will have to draw on me quite a bit. I refuse to let it be in black Sharpies, I am really more or an orange and purple gal. I will present the Sharpies to the main surgeon prior to him doodling on me.

Here is a quick photo of the procedure they are going to do:

1. Remove breasts and nipples

2. Remove fat from tummy

3. Make a new belly button (!) and close me up like a window shade

4. Build new breasts utilizing the harvested tissue from my tummy

5. Reattach the blood vessels through a tiny hole in my sternum

I know, I know, it's probably more information than you wanted to know. But isn't technology amazing?????

I, of course, want there to be plenty of fat for them to harvest, so I am eating ice cream every day. Tomorrow I may even have it for breakfast.

This is, after all, a teaching hospital, so there will be medical students in and out of the OR.

VOTE: Funny or not?
I'd like to write on my boobs before surgery:
"Stop staring at my tits"

Bra Burning

2008-12-13T06:40:00.000-08:00

I refuse to wear a bra this entire month of December. I figure I should let the girls have their freedom for this last few weeks.

And maybe I should burn my bras? I'm going to have a different size, so I get to buy all new lingerie. Yay.

Bye Bye Boobies Maiden Voyage

2008-12-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome! You found me!

If you are here, either you know me, or you were looking for something weird (I don't want to know what you googled to get here!) Regardless, I'm glad you are here.

Today is December 11. In 2-1/2 weeks, I am going to be having a double mastectomy, with a DIEP flap reconstruction.

Why, you ask? I'm a 6 year breast cancer survivor. My mom was diagnosed at age 37. I was diagnosed at age 36. I opted for a lumpectomy and radiation. The cancer was aggressive and I ended up having chemo anyway. Had I known that (knowing what I know now), the question will always be "Did I make the right decision in not having a mastectomy?"

Well, I could torture myself over that one, or I could just realize that at the time I feel I made the best choice for me.

A little over a month ago, I found another lump on the same breast the cancer was on. Ready, set, go. That involved several doctors appointments, mammograms, ultrasounds, and searching on the internet. The mammo and ultrasound didn't show any sign of cancer. But my surgeon wants to take out the lump (another lumpectomy).

My thoughts were, "Well, then why not just take them both off, and I don't have to deal with the anxiety anymore."

I also should mention that I had another scare a few years ago where my world stopped for a few weeks and I got another biopsy on the other breast. It was benign.

I just turned 42 on Tuesday (oh did you miss my birthday? I'll still accept late presents). My mom was re-diagnosed in her early 40's with a recurrence of breast cancer. She passed away when she was 47. I was 25.

I'm going for the gusto, as they say.

I've done my research. I've consulted doctors. I've cried with Tim. I've chatted with friends. I've spent a lot of time by myself and done some soul searching.

I have decided it's a quality of life issue. So, December 29th. Happy New Year to me!

And yes, the breast tissue will be sent off to pathology, because, as you know, it's not over til the pathology says "It's benign!" That should happen a few days after the surgery.

This will be my side blog (in all my spare time), where you can keep up with me and find out more about my recovery, my fabulous new boobs, my flat tummy, my 6 weeks of no housework, etc.

I'm excited, anxious, nervous, impatient, scared, happy, and so many other emotions. And lucky you. You get to hear about all of them as they come up.

As you know, I just started www.ThereIsLifeAfterBreastCancer.com I have a 10 year marketing plan for the company, the series, etc. I want to make sure I can complete it!

I'm not done yet, so I'm doing what I can to make sure I will be here for a long, long time.

If only I had taken better care of myself! HA!

Please bookmark this site, or RSS it (email me if you don't know how to subscribe and I'll walk you through it).

Love,

Hayley