Wake up!

So here I am, its 11:30 PM and I’m back at the Hospital. I had just fallen asleep after a long day, and the phone rang in my hotel room. It was the hospital and they had Hayley on the line. She said that they were taking her back in to check the blood supply on one of her new breasts. Dr. Buntic then got on the phone and said that all would be fine he just wanted to take her back into surgery and make sure everything was good, and he would call me back as soon a he finished.

I laid there for about a minute wondering what the heck was that—did he really call or was I dreaming? Had the voices in my head gotten the better of me? I’ll just go back to sleep, and it will be all over soon. No, I figured it really happened, so I got dressed and hopped into the truck and back down to the California Pacific Medical Clinic I went.

Dr B. just came in and gave me an update. They had not started yet, but they were about to. He did not like the look (and sound) of the blood flow of the tissue to the new “breast”, and wanted to put Hayley under to take a closer look. Should take about an hour.

Strike up the band! There goes the chorus between my ears again! Playing the old “what if?” game. What if it does not take? What if something goes wrong? What if Eleanor Roosevelt could fly? Come on now Tim, lets get back to basics. Did I cause it? No. Can I control it? No. Can I fix it? No. I guess that means that I should not worry about it then? Like the dude in Pulp Fiction said after taking a bite of the big kahuna burger and washing it down with a tasty beverage—“Correct-a-mundo”.

I thank God for the simple prayer I learned about 6 years ago—“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t control, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Such a simple little saying, but ever so powerful.

So here I sit, hanging out in the Surgery Waiting Room, waiting more peacefully than I could ever imagine I would be, while the good Doctors do what they do. Knowing that I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the outcome, and being OK with that fact!